Sometimes You Just Need to Keep Your Mouth Shut

It's not easy for me, but the art of keeping your mouth shut is just as important as knowing how and when to speak.  A lot of leadership literature today hinges on communication, and I don't mean to denigrate communication, but sometimes it's better just to keep your mouth shut.

A lot of leaders feel they need to add something to every conversation.  Please kick this impulse in the teeth.  There are many times that people just want you to listen.  There are many times that you need to just listen. 

Learn before you speak. 

Though you may have something to add to the conversation, always having something to add to the conversation will get you a reputation that you don't want.

Equally important to a leader as speaking is listening.  Communication without understanding doesn't happen.  That's miscommunication; and if we feel the need to talk more than we listen, miscommunication is exactly what we're going to have.

As leaders, we are expected to be charismatic, witty, charming folks that liven up all conversation with our intellect, wisdom, and anecdotes.  We can do those things to.  There is a time and a place for that.  More than that, though, is the need to understand before being understood.  If we truly serve the people we lead, our job is to listen to them more than we talk at them. 

In all honesty the more we listen and understand other people, the more poignant and guided can our words be.  Hastily speaking we miss important aspects of a situation, or have a less than full understanding of a person.  A leader can't afford misunderstanding; sometimes there's only one opportunity to lead correctly and wisely.  

I'm not suggesting a prohibition on talking, but I am suggesting that we not only learn to listen better, but find ways to teach our leadership students to listen more carefully and thoroughly.  Doing so will be a long haul, because listening to others without interjecting our own opinion and beliefs is not an art that is being taught by today's culture. 

Your overtures into this disicipline are going to need to be planned, intentional, and plentiful. We are constantly encouraged to give our view on something, no matter how little of it we know, and so as teachers we will have to be contantly vigilant to expunge that tendency in our students as much as we can. 

Remember, a servant listens, and then acts.  It is a tyrant that dominates a conversation or a debate without understanding the situation or the person.

Learn to listen.  Listen.  Model listening.  Raise listeners.

Training Tomorrow's Leaders Today,
Matt

Value in Struggle

Life is hard.


Even so, I bet the best “ah-ha” moments in your life have come through struggle. While we do gain much by learning principles in the spotless laboratory of the classroom, it can’t teach us the most important lessons. Life teaches those, and it’s not always a nice teacher.

When we work with youth, and as we develop young leaders, our relationship with them will often lead us to want to keep them from struggle in life.

Don’t.

There is great value in struggle. In many ways it’s so easy to supply the right answers, or give them the best choice to make, or to help them in the moment that they start to founder in the face of a monumental task.

Don’t.

As mean as it sounds, I can’t think of a worse thing to do. The lessons and clarity that come from struggle will endure long after your boring lectures and teaching have faded from their memory.

Instead, when push comes to shove, come along side of them. Encourage them. Pray with them. Let them know you’re there for them. But let them face the struggle, beat it or succumb to it, and then learn from it.

This can be as easy as letting there be some silent moments after you ask an important question, or not giving them the answer on that history homework. It might be something more involved, too, like not bailing them out when they don’t prepare for a lesson.

Now, don’t take this too far. I’m not talking about putting them in imminent danger. But don’t baby them, either. They’re learning; let them.

Not only will they learn more when you let them struggle, but in the long run, as they look back on their life and reflect on their most poignant lessons, they will thank you for not stepping in and giving them a safe way out.

Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,

Matt

Following to Lead

Why does it seem like most of the qualities of a Christian leader are also those of followers of Christ? Because in Christian leadership, all leaders are followers. Christian leadership isn’t like secular leadership in many ways, but the most important way is this: no matter how high up the ladder you go, the Christian leader always follows. Always; with no exceptions.


We often forget that Jesus told His disciples that to lead meant to serve everyone else. Jesus said that those who wished to be first would be last. To be a good leader, you must also be a good follower.

You must be a good follower of Christ. Remember that no matter what you lead, as a Christian leader, you still answer to God. That is what separates Christian leadership from a lot of business models. If you don’t follow Jesus, then you don’t have to answer to anybody else, and you don’t necessarily have to be a follower. As a Christian leader it’s different.

I think it would do a world of good if all leaders spent some time following, maybe every day. I think it would change the leader/follower paradigm in most companies. They would begin to understand what Christian leaders should already know: following is an essential part of leading.

How are we teaching our young people to follow? Seems like a strange question coming from a leadership blog, but it is pertinent. The ability that our students have to follow godly leadership now has a huge impact on how they lead tomorrow.

Do you want an arrogant, impetuous Christian leader? Don’t teach them to be a follower.

Do you want an out of touch Christian leader? Don’t teach them to be a follower.

Do you want a Christian leader who abuses their power? Don’t teach them to be a follower.

Question: How are you teaching your students to follow? How are you connecting those lessons to future leadership?

Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,

Matt

I'm So Selfish

I’m sure you’re aware of this, but I’m going to tell you anyway. This world is so selfish. We are a selfish people. We are all about me. I’m sure that if you’re real with yourself, you’ll admit that most times you love yourself more than God. It’s bad, it stinks, and it’s part of being human.


This is the world in which we are bringing up a new generation of leaders. I don’t have to tell you that these leaders will have to be more altruistic than any other generation before it to counter the rising tide of self-centeredness, but how do we do that? What is so counter-cultural and life-changing that it swings this generation against the tide and captures their imaginations strongly enough to hold them against the generation of self?

The gospel. That’s what. The life of Jesus is a study in selflessness. It sounds strange, but it’s selflessness that will trump selfishness.

The truth is that we are bringing up a generation that does truly care about others. With Bono as their guide, they have taken on problems such as Darfur, the environment, poverty, AIDS, and the list goes on. The elements of selflessness are in place, but you need a spark that keeps them there. That’s the gospel.

The rest of these causes are just that: causes. They don’t necessitate selflessness, just a bit of giving and advocacy. The true gospel demands a selflessness to be like Christ; To deny ourselves, and take up our cross. This isn’t easy, and it does take a lifetime (sanctification) to perfect, but there’s no time like the present to start.

How do we do this: practice. Believe it or not, this generation’s attitude won’t be changed overnight. Despite the sudden shift of concern for others, selfishness still has its hold on us. We can’t change this attitude overnight, but we can change behavior. Over time, God uses that change in behavior to change the heart. Bingo. End game. Selflessness

Here’s a few ways we can partner with God in this process

1. Focus on selflessness. Make sure our students know where it comes from (that’s from God, who alone is perfect). Play the broken record and study it extensively during devotional time.

2. Practice altruism often. Serve others at the expense of ourselves.

3. Pray for changed hearts in this generation. Pray for a changed heart for yourself.

We know that the perfect won’t come until the end, but in the meantime, let’s get as close to selflessness as we can. Our fallen world and the lost who live in it depend on it.



Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,

Matt

Defining Success

How do you define success in leadership? How do your students define success in leadership?


One of the board members here at Next in Line was at a Christian Bookstore (which shall remain nameless) the other day and was perusing through leadership books. He was horrified to find that more than one of them qualified a successful leader as one who had a large following, was making lots of money, or was very successful(numbers) in his/her business or ministry. He immediately called me and asked me what was going on. I really didn’t have an answer for him.

I have a small problem with Christian leadership success being defined by numbers, followers, or dollars. I know that this defines earthly success, and don’t get me wrong they are not bad things. I just don’t think they are the things a Christian leader defines themselves by.

The Apostle Paul’s boast was never in numbers, but the kind of people that were being raised up under his leadership. Further, he would usually boast in the things of God, not of man. I don’t think Paul would have been considered very successful as a leader by the world’s standards. He was constantly run out of town, stoned, shipwrecked, having problem with the organizations that he started, etc. But he is probably one of the greatest Christian leaders of all times. Why? Because he did the things God called him to do no matter what the cost. He did the right thing, even if it meant upsetting his “followers” (which he would have rightly said didn’t belong to him anyways).

Maybe a better idea of Christian Leadership success should come from that of a successful steward. This is an example that Jesus would use when he told parables about Christian leadership. The steward does well with what is given to him. As Christian leaders, I think that should be our definition of success as well. It should also be what we are teaching our young people. Help them to understand the difference between a steward, who doesn’t own anything but is rather a caretaker of someone else’s things, and a “success”, who owns much and has much.

When the world begins to pollute how we see “success”, then we have lost the fight.

Question: What do You See as Success for a Christian Leader?



Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,

Matt

Increase Your Wisdom

I was reading in Proverbs the other day and this little tidbit stuck out at me. “The wise man listens, and increases wisdom.” I love this.


In our world, to be “the man” we’re expected to talk. We’re expected to have all of the right answers, and know everything in our field (and a host of others).

The Bible sees wisdom in a different way. Take a close look at that verse. First of all, the person who listens is already wise. Second, when he listens, his wisdom increases.

The next time you are out with a group of friends, at a meeting with fellow professionals, or are just talking to another person at church or work, listen.

It’s amazing what you learn when you aren’t trying to insert your own opinion. Listening has two great side effects. First, as the Bible says, you gain in wisdom. Second, people like to be listened to. You’ll make somebody’s day if you actually listen to them.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to listen, especially if you disagree with the person you are listening to. Discipline yourself. Hear everyone out, no matter what their opinion. That’s how you learn. That’s how you grow.

Wisdom doesn’t figure much into today’s world. Unfortunately, to get ahead it seems that listening to others isn’t as important as telling them how it’s done. The wise leader listens before speaking, and they learn from what the other person is saying.

As we teach young people to be leaders, we should make sure that we are teaching them to listen. There are plenty of people all around them more than willing to tell them how they should be doing things. They can start practicing their listening skills right now.

What are some important things you have learned while listening to others?

Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,

Matt

Youth Leadership Resume: Intimacy

A Christian leader has a piece of the puzzle that a non-Christian doesn’t have: a relationship with Jesus Christ. Many people would ask what in the world this has to do leadership, but I would say “everything!”


Jesus didn’t lead like other people. He spent a lot of time drawing the line between the world’s leaders and the way that his disciples were supposed to lead. Living the Christian life gives a person a sense of leadership that others don’t have.

Now, let’s get one thing straight. We don’t read the bible and culture a relationship with Jesus in order to become better leaders. In fact, a Christian leader is called by God through their relationship, in order to serve. The Christian leader is also equipped by God through Spiritual gifting and sanctification, the process of being made more like Jesus. So rather than us using God to improve our means, it’s quite the other way around. God uses us as leaders to advance his kingdom and to equip His people to serve Him.

Our relationship with God, in fact, makes us worth following, and gives us the true way of leadership. This being the case, teaching our students to foster a relationship with God should be of high importance to us.

That is easier said than done, obviously, because we don’t see our students every day. It’s hard to help them set up lasting habits even with something as important as a relationship with God. That means we have to work even harder and smarter in helping our students do so. We have to partner with parents, work with our students, and model intimacy for our students in our own lives.

If we are to have a generation of Christ-followers as leaders in all areas of society, they will have to have an intimacy with God that informs their purpose, calling, and leadership.

Question: How are you teaching intimacy to your students?

Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,

Matt

Developing Principles

Leaders lead from their principles. Principles are like the big filter that all information goes through in your brain. Information is processed through them, and a person’s behavior is processed through them.
When it comes to leaders and leading, we want those principles to be Christ-Centered. Consider Jesus’ saying about the eye being the lamp of the body (Matthew 6:22-23). Jesus is saying that whatever is at the center of your life is going to dictate how you behave and what you think. This is a scary thought when you really sit down and consider it.
If we try to lead from anything other than Christ, we may become leaders, but to what end? The answer of course is ourselves, our fame, our fortune, etc. As we seek to raise a new generation of leaders, we have to impart Christ-honoring principles in everything we do.
There are so many ways that the world offers to do leadership, and some of them might even make sense to us. However, if we can’t find a Biblical parallel, we had probably better stay away from it. Our students need to be inundated with Biblical leadership principles, and not those of the world. There are plenty of worldly leaders out there who are not the salt and light of the earth.
The next generation of leaders will have to be different. They will have to be Biblical. They will have to be relevant. Here’s a few thoughts on training them to be these things:
1. Train your students with Biblical Leadership Principles. Make sure that anything that you encounter from a secular source can be corroborated with scripture. This usually isn’t as hard as it sounds, but you’d be surprised what doesn’t pass the smell test.
2. Give your students opportunity to practice leading in Biblical ways. Establishing principles isn’t just about learning them, it’s about doing them. See James 1:22
3. Model Biblical leadership for them. Always lead in a Biblical manner. Monkey see monkey do.
4. Don’t always assume you have to move on and teach something exciting. If we don’t instill Biblical principles in our students, we haven’t succeeded.
5. Long after the fancy “tip of the day” stuff is long forgotten, if you’ve given your students a bedrock of Christian Leadership Principles, your young people will still lead out of them. That is where we have to spend our time.
Question: What is the Best Way You Have Found To Instill Christian Leadership Principles?

Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,
Matt