How much control do you try to exert over your leadership development team?
I’m not talking about a kind of iron fist control that you’d find in a totalitarian government, I’m talking about how deeply planned you’re meetings are, how much we try to influence outcomes, and how hard we try to steer our lessons in a certain direction.
While each team is different, I have been finding lately that the more control I try to exert over activities of the leadership team, the less the team thrives. Most students need structure, and even welcome it, so why does more control equal less outcome?
I think it has to do with the very nature of leadership and leadership development. While some structure is necessary, the more structure we put into the system, the more it chokes the life out of our young leaders. Our students aren’t normal (whatever normal is), and being leaders, they don’t always operate under the same norms that we’d expect all students to. The more I work with young leaders, the more exceptions I find to developmental theory as explained in my many college classes on the subject.
Leadership development is messy. It happens in real time, and no lesson plan, no matter how good and how detailed, can take into account every student and their personality. No activity, no matter how well planned and what outcome it’s supposed to achieve, can fully take into account every student on your team.
What I’m trying to say is this: plan for the unexpected. Plan to get off-plan. Your lesson or conversation or activity may take your team in a direction that is totally unexpected, and may even seem like a waste to you. Don’t judge it too quickly. Don’t shut it down too quickly. Real growth can happen where you least expect it.
Control is comfortable, control is planned, and control is, well, controlled. Leadership development is messy. Embrace it.
Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,
Matt
Showing posts with label leadership team. Show all posts
Showing posts with label leadership team. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Value in Struggle
Life is hard.
Even so, I bet the best “ah-ha” moments in your life have come through struggle. While we do gain much by learning principles in the spotless laboratory of the classroom, it can’t teach us the most important lessons. Life teaches those, and it’s not always a nice teacher.
When we work with youth, and as we develop young leaders, our relationship with them will often lead us to want to keep them from struggle in life.
Don’t.
There is great value in struggle. In many ways it’s so easy to supply the right answers, or give them the best choice to make, or to help them in the moment that they start to founder in the face of a monumental task.
Don’t.
As mean as it sounds, I can’t think of a worse thing to do. The lessons and clarity that come from struggle will endure long after your boring lectures and teaching have faded from their memory.
Instead, when push comes to shove, come along side of them. Encourage them. Pray with them. Let them know you’re there for them. But let them face the struggle, beat it or succumb to it, and then learn from it.
This can be as easy as letting there be some silent moments after you ask an important question, or not giving them the answer on that history homework. It might be something more involved, too, like not bailing them out when they don’t prepare for a lesson.
Now, don’t take this too far. I’m not talking about putting them in imminent danger. But don’t baby them, either. They’re learning; let them.
Not only will they learn more when you let them struggle, but in the long run, as they look back on their life and reflect on their most poignant lessons, they will thank you for not stepping in and giving them a safe way out.
Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,
Matt
Even so, I bet the best “ah-ha” moments in your life have come through struggle. While we do gain much by learning principles in the spotless laboratory of the classroom, it can’t teach us the most important lessons. Life teaches those, and it’s not always a nice teacher.
When we work with youth, and as we develop young leaders, our relationship with them will often lead us to want to keep them from struggle in life.
Don’t.
There is great value in struggle. In many ways it’s so easy to supply the right answers, or give them the best choice to make, or to help them in the moment that they start to founder in the face of a monumental task.
Don’t.
As mean as it sounds, I can’t think of a worse thing to do. The lessons and clarity that come from struggle will endure long after your boring lectures and teaching have faded from their memory.
Instead, when push comes to shove, come along side of them. Encourage them. Pray with them. Let them know you’re there for them. But let them face the struggle, beat it or succumb to it, and then learn from it.
This can be as easy as letting there be some silent moments after you ask an important question, or not giving them the answer on that history homework. It might be something more involved, too, like not bailing them out when they don’t prepare for a lesson.
Now, don’t take this too far. I’m not talking about putting them in imminent danger. But don’t baby them, either. They’re learning; let them.
Not only will they learn more when you let them struggle, but in the long run, as they look back on their life and reflect on their most poignant lessons, they will thank you for not stepping in and giving them a safe way out.
Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,
Matt
Friday, January 15, 2010
Student Leadership and Haiti
Over the last couple of days, my heart has been breaking for the people of Haiti. I cannot imagine the devastation, pain, and loss that they are going through. There is only so much that pictures and news reports can convey.
As I have been wrestling with my own response to this crisis, I was thinking that this situation would be a perfect opportunity to allow our leadership students to plan and execute some relief programs for the people of Haiti. It is an opportunity for them to share the love of Christ with a devastated people and to learn and grow themselves.
I can't tell you how this is going to go, because we're just starting it. My team is still deciding where the Lord will have us work, and how. I will keep you updated on what we have decided to do, and how. Like me you might be figuring out just what your response to this crisis will be. Maybe you've decided to involve the leadership of your youth, or maybe your whole youth group (whatever the leadership team in my group decides to do will involve the whole group).
Whatever the case may be, and whatever you've decided to do, I'd like to ask that we share those ideas with eachother as much as possible. While this is a good opportunity for our students (and ourselves) to learn, the focus must be on the people of Haiti, and sharing the love of Christ with them.
I'm anxious to hear what you are doing, and eager to get started on our own projects for this ravaged people.
Training Tomorrow's Leaders Today,
Matt
As I have been wrestling with my own response to this crisis, I was thinking that this situation would be a perfect opportunity to allow our leadership students to plan and execute some relief programs for the people of Haiti. It is an opportunity for them to share the love of Christ with a devastated people and to learn and grow themselves.
I can't tell you how this is going to go, because we're just starting it. My team is still deciding where the Lord will have us work, and how. I will keep you updated on what we have decided to do, and how. Like me you might be figuring out just what your response to this crisis will be. Maybe you've decided to involve the leadership of your youth, or maybe your whole youth group (whatever the leadership team in my group decides to do will involve the whole group).
Whatever the case may be, and whatever you've decided to do, I'd like to ask that we share those ideas with eachother as much as possible. While this is a good opportunity for our students (and ourselves) to learn, the focus must be on the people of Haiti, and sharing the love of Christ with them.
I'm anxious to hear what you are doing, and eager to get started on our own projects for this ravaged people.
Training Tomorrow's Leaders Today,
Matt
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Mini-Me Leadership
What kind of leaders are coming out of your leadership program?
This is a very important question. The purpose of leadership development is not to turn out clones of you. I can’t think of a more egocentric way to pollute the world. What the world does not need is another you. I’m sorry, but it’s true. What the world needs is a man or woman that God has created specially and specifically for their own task.
Let’s stop trying to turn out mini-me’s and let’s start partnering with God to help Him turn out the kind of leaders that He wants.
Our job as leadership developers is to work with and hone our students as individuals, allowing them each to become what God has intended them to become, not what you are. This is very difficult for some leaders to put into practice, because they are very familiar with what trained and honed them as leaders. Each of us are different though, and each of us are going to need a different “program” to train us as leaders.
Let me give you a good negative example. I am a reader. I read voraciously. I learn from reading, and I love it. Right now I am mentoring a young leader who is not a reader (not that they don’t read, but they don’t read like me; see how egocentric this can get?). At first, I tried to make them read. That didn’t work so well. When that didn’t work I found out what kind of a learner I was dealing with and began to teach to their strengths. That worked much better.
What this means for us is it’s not going to be easy to train new leaders. It’s hard, messy, and time-consuming. But nothing worth doing was ever easy.
Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,
Matt
This is a very important question. The purpose of leadership development is not to turn out clones of you. I can’t think of a more egocentric way to pollute the world. What the world does not need is another you. I’m sorry, but it’s true. What the world needs is a man or woman that God has created specially and specifically for their own task.
Let’s stop trying to turn out mini-me’s and let’s start partnering with God to help Him turn out the kind of leaders that He wants.
Our job as leadership developers is to work with and hone our students as individuals, allowing them each to become what God has intended them to become, not what you are. This is very difficult for some leaders to put into practice, because they are very familiar with what trained and honed them as leaders. Each of us are different though, and each of us are going to need a different “program” to train us as leaders.
Let me give you a good negative example. I am a reader. I read voraciously. I learn from reading, and I love it. Right now I am mentoring a young leader who is not a reader (not that they don’t read, but they don’t read like me; see how egocentric this can get?). At first, I tried to make them read. That didn’t work so well. When that didn’t work I found out what kind of a learner I was dealing with and began to teach to their strengths. That worked much better.
What this means for us is it’s not going to be easy to train new leaders. It’s hard, messy, and time-consuming. But nothing worth doing was ever easy.
Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,
Matt
Friday, January 8, 2010
New Year's Resolutions Part 3
My last resolution is also the hardest.
Resolution 3: keep my resolutions.
I’m sure you can recall making a resolution, being very excited about it…for about a week, and then just lamenting the fact that you can’t keep your resolutions (if you can’t recall anything like this happening, then you need to be writing this, and not me).
Keeping my resolutions is a mixture of keeping the excitement, the determination, and the importance of my task at the forefront of my attention. Here’s my plan of attack for this year:
Read. A lot. Reading always keeps my attention focused. Two of my dominant strengths are input and learner. I love to read, and it helps me stay focused on the task at hand. It also keeps my subject close to my thoughts at all times.
Collect Blogs. I’m collecting quite a few leadership blogs on my igoogle page. I’m finding that over time I’m refining them more and more, so if you think that reading blogs about your resolutions will help you stay focused, here’s a couple of tips:
1. Look for blogs that are relevant to your resolution; in my case: leadership. If you want to get involved in some other blogs, then sort them in another file, another reader, or another page, so you can concentrate. Given the choice of reading a blog about work or about your favorite sports team, you know which one you’ll pick.
2. If you find you aren’t reading a blog or that it’s not helpful, delete it. It will only clog up your reader and make it less likely that you’ll wade through the bad stuff to get to the good.
3. Always be on the lookout for fresh content and new blogs.
Just Do It! Nothing trumps getting your hands dirty. If your goal is to start a leadership team, then the best way to keep your resolution is to start a leadership team. Tell other people about what you want to do. Enlist their help. You are less likely to drop the ball when it will be embarrassing to do so. Lay your groundwork, and prepare. The more you invest in a project, the more likely you’ll be to carry it off. This week is my jump off, and already I’m putting into play the foundations for expanding my leadership team, and I’m starting to organize a leadership seminar.
I pray that you carry through on your resolutions.
Question: If you have resolutions about leadership, what are they? How do you plan on carrying through with them?
Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,
Matt
Resolution 3: keep my resolutions.
I’m sure you can recall making a resolution, being very excited about it…for about a week, and then just lamenting the fact that you can’t keep your resolutions (if you can’t recall anything like this happening, then you need to be writing this, and not me).
Keeping my resolutions is a mixture of keeping the excitement, the determination, and the importance of my task at the forefront of my attention. Here’s my plan of attack for this year:
Read. A lot. Reading always keeps my attention focused. Two of my dominant strengths are input and learner. I love to read, and it helps me stay focused on the task at hand. It also keeps my subject close to my thoughts at all times.
Collect Blogs. I’m collecting quite a few leadership blogs on my igoogle page. I’m finding that over time I’m refining them more and more, so if you think that reading blogs about your resolutions will help you stay focused, here’s a couple of tips:
1. Look for blogs that are relevant to your resolution; in my case: leadership. If you want to get involved in some other blogs, then sort them in another file, another reader, or another page, so you can concentrate. Given the choice of reading a blog about work or about your favorite sports team, you know which one you’ll pick.
2. If you find you aren’t reading a blog or that it’s not helpful, delete it. It will only clog up your reader and make it less likely that you’ll wade through the bad stuff to get to the good.
3. Always be on the lookout for fresh content and new blogs.
Just Do It! Nothing trumps getting your hands dirty. If your goal is to start a leadership team, then the best way to keep your resolution is to start a leadership team. Tell other people about what you want to do. Enlist their help. You are less likely to drop the ball when it will be embarrassing to do so. Lay your groundwork, and prepare. The more you invest in a project, the more likely you’ll be to carry it off. This week is my jump off, and already I’m putting into play the foundations for expanding my leadership team, and I’m starting to organize a leadership seminar.
I pray that you carry through on your resolutions.
Question: If you have resolutions about leadership, what are they? How do you plan on carrying through with them?
Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,
Matt
Monday, December 21, 2009
Credibility ≠ Likability
I heard one of my professors say this a while back, and it made me think quite a bit. Deep down, we all have this need to be liked. Well, unless we’re sociopathic. Unfortunately, many of us need this so much that we let it get in the way of our teaching. This is not good.
For just a minute, examine yourself and ask yourself if this is what you do. Would you rather be liked, seen as a friend, or teach the hard lesson and be seen as a jerk for a week?
In the long term, of course, the answer is “I want to be both.” I think we can have both, but not always at the same time. Don’t misread what I’m saying. You want likability too. You won’t do much for the cause of Christ by being a jerk-face. But there will be times when you’ll have to choose between the two, and that’s what I’m talking about here.
Sometimes it is demanded of us that we do the right thing, say the right thing, even if our student isn’t going to like it, or us, for a while because of it.
Their future and their godliness is more important than whether they like what we have to say, or us. Sometimes we have to bite the bullet, say or do the hard thing, and let the chips fall where they will. They may not speak to you for a couple of weeks, but in the end, when they “come to themselves” they will realize that you said what you did, or did what you did, for their benefit. You’ve just established credibility.
Whether they realize it or not, you need credibility with your students. They will know when you’re softballing it for them. Hardballing might not get you any friendly texts that week, but in the long run you’ll establish yourself as someone who truly cares.
This principle might be even more difficult in a leadership team, where you are probably closer knit. However, here more than in youth group this principle is so important. Softballing doesn’t help anybody. We’re messing with the future, and God has called us to raise up these leaders. Credibility is imperative. Say the hard things. Your leaders should be able to take it. When it comes time for a yearly review, don’t hold back. Be real, be truthful.
Credibility will allow you to build leaders.
Question: Are You Choosing Likability Over Credibility? How Do You Balance The Two?
Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,
Matt
For just a minute, examine yourself and ask yourself if this is what you do. Would you rather be liked, seen as a friend, or teach the hard lesson and be seen as a jerk for a week?
In the long term, of course, the answer is “I want to be both.” I think we can have both, but not always at the same time. Don’t misread what I’m saying. You want likability too. You won’t do much for the cause of Christ by being a jerk-face. But there will be times when you’ll have to choose between the two, and that’s what I’m talking about here.
Sometimes it is demanded of us that we do the right thing, say the right thing, even if our student isn’t going to like it, or us, for a while because of it.
Their future and their godliness is more important than whether they like what we have to say, or us. Sometimes we have to bite the bullet, say or do the hard thing, and let the chips fall where they will. They may not speak to you for a couple of weeks, but in the end, when they “come to themselves” they will realize that you said what you did, or did what you did, for their benefit. You’ve just established credibility.
Whether they realize it or not, you need credibility with your students. They will know when you’re softballing it for them. Hardballing might not get you any friendly texts that week, but in the long run you’ll establish yourself as someone who truly cares.
This principle might be even more difficult in a leadership team, where you are probably closer knit. However, here more than in youth group this principle is so important. Softballing doesn’t help anybody. We’re messing with the future, and God has called us to raise up these leaders. Credibility is imperative. Say the hard things. Your leaders should be able to take it. When it comes time for a yearly review, don’t hold back. Be real, be truthful.
Credibility will allow you to build leaders.
Question: Are You Choosing Likability Over Credibility? How Do You Balance The Two?
Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,
Matt
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Developing Principles
Leaders lead from their principles. Principles are like the big filter that all information goes through in your brain. Information is processed through them, and a person’s behavior is processed through them.
When it comes to leaders and leading, we want those principles to be Christ-Centered. Consider Jesus’ saying about the eye being the lamp of the body (Matthew 6:22-23). Jesus is saying that whatever is at the center of your life is going to dictate how you behave and what you think. This is a scary thought when you really sit down and consider it.
If we try to lead from anything other than Christ, we may become leaders, but to what end? The answer of course is ourselves, our fame, our fortune, etc. As we seek to raise a new generation of leaders, we have to impart Christ-honoring principles in everything we do.
There are so many ways that the world offers to do leadership, and some of them might even make sense to us. However, if we can’t find a Biblical parallel, we had probably better stay away from it. Our students need to be inundated with Biblical leadership principles, and not those of the world. There are plenty of worldly leaders out there who are not the salt and light of the earth.
The next generation of leaders will have to be different. They will have to be Biblical. They will have to be relevant. Here’s a few thoughts on training them to be these things:
1. Train your students with Biblical Leadership Principles. Make sure that anything that you encounter from a secular source can be corroborated with scripture. This usually isn’t as hard as it sounds, but you’d be surprised what doesn’t pass the smell test.
2. Give your students opportunity to practice leading in Biblical ways. Establishing principles isn’t just about learning them, it’s about doing them. See James 1:22
3. Model Biblical leadership for them. Always lead in a Biblical manner. Monkey see monkey do.
4. Don’t always assume you have to move on and teach something exciting. If we don’t instill Biblical principles in our students, we haven’t succeeded.
5. Long after the fancy “tip of the day” stuff is long forgotten, if you’ve given your students a bedrock of Christian Leadership Principles, your young people will still lead out of them. That is where we have to spend our time.
Question: What is the Best Way You Have Found To Instill Christian Leadership Principles?
Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,
Matt
When it comes to leaders and leading, we want those principles to be Christ-Centered. Consider Jesus’ saying about the eye being the lamp of the body (Matthew 6:22-23). Jesus is saying that whatever is at the center of your life is going to dictate how you behave and what you think. This is a scary thought when you really sit down and consider it.
If we try to lead from anything other than Christ, we may become leaders, but to what end? The answer of course is ourselves, our fame, our fortune, etc. As we seek to raise a new generation of leaders, we have to impart Christ-honoring principles in everything we do.
There are so many ways that the world offers to do leadership, and some of them might even make sense to us. However, if we can’t find a Biblical parallel, we had probably better stay away from it. Our students need to be inundated with Biblical leadership principles, and not those of the world. There are plenty of worldly leaders out there who are not the salt and light of the earth.
The next generation of leaders will have to be different. They will have to be Biblical. They will have to be relevant. Here’s a few thoughts on training them to be these things:
1. Train your students with Biblical Leadership Principles. Make sure that anything that you encounter from a secular source can be corroborated with scripture. This usually isn’t as hard as it sounds, but you’d be surprised what doesn’t pass the smell test.
2. Give your students opportunity to practice leading in Biblical ways. Establishing principles isn’t just about learning them, it’s about doing them. See James 1:22
3. Model Biblical leadership for them. Always lead in a Biblical manner. Monkey see monkey do.
4. Don’t always assume you have to move on and teach something exciting. If we don’t instill Biblical principles in our students, we haven’t succeeded.
5. Long after the fancy “tip of the day” stuff is long forgotten, if you’ve given your students a bedrock of Christian Leadership Principles, your young people will still lead out of them. That is where we have to spend our time.
Question: What is the Best Way You Have Found To Instill Christian Leadership Principles?
Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,
Matt
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
What Motivates You?
What motivates you to run a leadership development team? I was thinking about motivation this last week, and I asked myself this question.
My motivation comes from many quarters. I love teenagers, and want them to have the best of options as they go into life. My motivation also comes from a general dissatisfaction with the status quo in Christian leadership. By raising up a new generation of leaders, the status quo can be broken. I also feel very strongly about giving the next generation ALL of the tools they need to lead in a manner that is honoring to Christ.
What motivates you?
Is it an intense love for your students and their future?
Is it a way to take some of the work off of you in the youth ministry?
Whatever motivates us will eventually become known, so you had better be honest with yourself right now. You know that you’re students are more discerning than we’d like to think. They smell a phony a mile out.
Being up front about our motivation will help them understand the way you teach and why you teach.
By the way, find out what motivates your students as well. Why are they on the leadership team?
By working to eliminate greed, self-centeredness, and laziness from our motivation, we teach better and become more effective. When we eliminate these traits from our student’s perspectives, we turn out better leaders.
In the Trenches,
Matt
My motivation comes from many quarters. I love teenagers, and want them to have the best of options as they go into life. My motivation also comes from a general dissatisfaction with the status quo in Christian leadership. By raising up a new generation of leaders, the status quo can be broken. I also feel very strongly about giving the next generation ALL of the tools they need to lead in a manner that is honoring to Christ.
What motivates you?
Is it an intense love for your students and their future?
Is it a way to take some of the work off of you in the youth ministry?
Whatever motivates us will eventually become known, so you had better be honest with yourself right now. You know that you’re students are more discerning than we’d like to think. They smell a phony a mile out.
Being up front about our motivation will help them understand the way you teach and why you teach.
By the way, find out what motivates your students as well. Why are they on the leadership team?
By working to eliminate greed, self-centeredness, and laziness from our motivation, we teach better and become more effective. When we eliminate these traits from our student’s perspectives, we turn out better leaders.
In the Trenches,
Matt
Monday, November 30, 2009
Practicing Leadership
My wife and I live right across from the High School and it’s football field. We don’t have to leave the house to hear the play by play on Friday night, we just turn off the radio.
Saturday morning, we were greeted to a new sound coming from the football field: a young person announcing a little-league football game. I stepped out onto the front porch to listen for a few minutes, and it was true.
The school, or little league program; whichever it was, had the foresight to let an interested young person announce a little league game. No doubt that this young person was elated at the opportunity, and from his voice you could tell he was having a great time. The opportunity also allowed this young person some on-the-job training that could very well sprout into a lifelong passion and career.
We should learn from this little league game. We need to hand off as many opportunities to our leadership students as we can. They will no doubt be excited (and nervous) about the opportunities, and it is great training for larger ministry in the future. The opportunity we offer them also just might spark a passion that they didn’t know they had, leading to a lifetime of service to our Savior.
Don’t pass off responsibilities that you should be taking care of; this isn’t the reason to have a leadership team. The school probably wouldn’t let that same young person announce the high school game on Friday night. But, after about five years of experience gained in little league, and then maybe Junior High and junior varsity games, that young man might be ready to tackle a Friday Night.
We need to be very intentional about the opportunities we give our leadership students. Let’s get them into practice.
Practice makes perfect.
In the Trenches,
Matt
Saturday morning, we were greeted to a new sound coming from the football field: a young person announcing a little-league football game. I stepped out onto the front porch to listen for a few minutes, and it was true.
The school, or little league program; whichever it was, had the foresight to let an interested young person announce a little league game. No doubt that this young person was elated at the opportunity, and from his voice you could tell he was having a great time. The opportunity also allowed this young person some on-the-job training that could very well sprout into a lifelong passion and career.
We should learn from this little league game. We need to hand off as many opportunities to our leadership students as we can. They will no doubt be excited (and nervous) about the opportunities, and it is great training for larger ministry in the future. The opportunity we offer them also just might spark a passion that they didn’t know they had, leading to a lifetime of service to our Savior.
Don’t pass off responsibilities that you should be taking care of; this isn’t the reason to have a leadership team. The school probably wouldn’t let that same young person announce the high school game on Friday night. But, after about five years of experience gained in little league, and then maybe Junior High and junior varsity games, that young man might be ready to tackle a Friday Night.
We need to be very intentional about the opportunities we give our leadership students. Let’s get them into practice.
Practice makes perfect.
In the Trenches,
Matt
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Reads of the Week
Seth Godin: how to lose an argument online
http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/typepad/sethsmainblog/~3/FMthrhynRmM/how-to-lose-an-argument-online.html
Kary Oberbrunner: Free ebook on Fasting
http://www.karyoberbrunner.com/your-secret-name/free-e-book-on-fasting-for-you/
Mac Lake: Five Vision Casting Mistakeshttp://www.maclakeonline.com/leadership/five-common-vision-casting-mistakes/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+maclake+%28Mac+Lake%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher
Mac Lake: Leaders are Readers
http://www.maclakeonline.com/leadership-development/leaders-are-readers/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+maclake+%28Mac+Lake%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher
Bill Hybel’s Reading List
http://spin.willowcreek.com/c/blogs/leadership/archive/2007/8/10/bill-hybles-leadership-must-reads.aspx
Ragamuffin Soul on getting stuck on yourself
http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/2009/11/drunk-on-your-junk/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+RagamuffinSoul+%28Ragamuffin+Soul%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher
Perry Noble on Your Ministry
http://www.perrynoble.com/2009/11/23/10-things-i-believe-about-your-ministry/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+perrynoble%2FZvVU+%28Perry+Noble+dot+com%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher
Brad Lomenick on what a leader must be:
http://bradlomenick.com/2009/11/25/a-leader-must-be/
Perry Noble: We Will Never…
http://www.perrynoble.com/2009/11/24/we-will-never/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+perrynoble%2FZvVU+%28Perry+Noble+dot+com%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher
Mac Lake: Investing in your leadership development
http://www.maclakeonline.com/leadership-development/investing-in-your-own-leadership-development/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+maclake+%28Mac+Lake%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher
Doug Franklin: Move Beyond the Mess
http://www.dougfranklinonline.com/youth-worker/move-beyond-the-mess/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+DougFranklinOnline+%28Doug+Franklin+Online%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher
Seth Godin: Accents
http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2009/11/what-sort-of-accent-do-you-have.html
Doug Franklin on Effective Youth Ministry
http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/DougFranklinOnline/~3/CUMDzwuLnok/
Seth Godin on the People You Should Listen To
http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2009/11/the-people-you-should-listen-to.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+typepad%2Fsethsmainblog+%28Seth%27s+Blog%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher
http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/typepad/sethsmainblog/~3/FMthrhynRmM/how-to-lose-an-argument-online.html
Kary Oberbrunner: Free ebook on Fasting
http://www.karyoberbrunner.com/your-secret-name/free-e-book-on-fasting-for-you/
Mac Lake: Five Vision Casting Mistakeshttp://www.maclakeonline.com/leadership/five-common-vision-casting-mistakes/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+maclake+%28Mac+Lake%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher
Mac Lake: Leaders are Readers
http://www.maclakeonline.com/leadership-development/leaders-are-readers/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+maclake+%28Mac+Lake%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher
Bill Hybel’s Reading List
http://spin.willowcreek.com/c/blogs/leadership/archive/2007/8/10/bill-hybles-leadership-must-reads.aspx
Ragamuffin Soul on getting stuck on yourself
http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/2009/11/drunk-on-your-junk/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+RagamuffinSoul+%28Ragamuffin+Soul%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher
Perry Noble on Your Ministry
http://www.perrynoble.com/2009/11/23/10-things-i-believe-about-your-ministry/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+perrynoble%2FZvVU+%28Perry+Noble+dot+com%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher
Brad Lomenick on what a leader must be:
http://bradlomenick.com/2009/11/25/a-leader-must-be/
Perry Noble: We Will Never…
http://www.perrynoble.com/2009/11/24/we-will-never/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+perrynoble%2FZvVU+%28Perry+Noble+dot+com%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher
Mac Lake: Investing in your leadership development
http://www.maclakeonline.com/leadership-development/investing-in-your-own-leadership-development/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+maclake+%28Mac+Lake%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher
Doug Franklin: Move Beyond the Mess
http://www.dougfranklinonline.com/youth-worker/move-beyond-the-mess/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+DougFranklinOnline+%28Doug+Franklin+Online%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher
Seth Godin: Accents
http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2009/11/what-sort-of-accent-do-you-have.html
Doug Franklin on Effective Youth Ministry
http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/DougFranklinOnline/~3/CUMDzwuLnok/
Seth Godin on the People You Should Listen To
http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2009/11/the-people-you-should-listen-to.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+typepad%2Fsethsmainblog+%28Seth%27s+Blog%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher
Friday, November 27, 2009
New Opportunities
My church had a pastor from South Dakota in over the weekend. Our church has a partnership with his church. He came down this last weekend to talk about all of the ministries and ministry opportunities that he was dealing with in his church.
As I listened, my head started filling with ideas. Good ideas (or so I think). I had taken the leadership team to his presentation in order to brainstorm ideas for a possible mission trip. We generated a lot of ideas altogether.
These ideas are all good, and after this pastor’s talk, we discussed our different ideas with him. He seemed quite elated with them. Now we have a lot of ideas to sort through and start to put together as we plan a mission trip for our church.
The question now becomes this: How do we balance this new opportunity with the opportunities already in front of us? How do we decide between them? How much time do we put into planning this ministry opportunity and what role will the leadership team have in it?
New opportunities are a great thing. They keep us fresh, keep us thinking, and keep us working for the Lord. Beware though that they don’t replace existing commitments and thought processes that you are currently working on.
The challenge for my leadership team now is to balance this opportunity with a mission trip to Peru in June of 2010, some projects that we are working on individually, and the amount of time we devote to it now, as opposed to in the near future.
My challenge is to juggle the logistics and planning of such an endeavor with the leadership training opportunities that such a trip will present. How much do I hand over to the leadership development team? How large will this trip become?
These challenges are good and bad. They will try our leadership team and stretch us. We will learn. On the other hand, some of us will lose focus. This is the first time that I’ve allowed so much to be on the team’s plate. It is overwhelming to most teenagers.
New Challenges are great. I personally love them (my gifts set is particularly fitted to new ministry opportunities). In fact, I get giddy about them. But there is a dark side, and if we’re not careful, new opportunities rob us of our ability to keep on track with existing projects. They can also take up too much of our time.
Just some thoughts. Would relish your thoughts as well.
In the Trenches,
Matt
As I listened, my head started filling with ideas. Good ideas (or so I think). I had taken the leadership team to his presentation in order to brainstorm ideas for a possible mission trip. We generated a lot of ideas altogether.
These ideas are all good, and after this pastor’s talk, we discussed our different ideas with him. He seemed quite elated with them. Now we have a lot of ideas to sort through and start to put together as we plan a mission trip for our church.
The question now becomes this: How do we balance this new opportunity with the opportunities already in front of us? How do we decide between them? How much time do we put into planning this ministry opportunity and what role will the leadership team have in it?
New opportunities are a great thing. They keep us fresh, keep us thinking, and keep us working for the Lord. Beware though that they don’t replace existing commitments and thought processes that you are currently working on.
The challenge for my leadership team now is to balance this opportunity with a mission trip to Peru in June of 2010, some projects that we are working on individually, and the amount of time we devote to it now, as opposed to in the near future.
My challenge is to juggle the logistics and planning of such an endeavor with the leadership training opportunities that such a trip will present. How much do I hand over to the leadership development team? How large will this trip become?
These challenges are good and bad. They will try our leadership team and stretch us. We will learn. On the other hand, some of us will lose focus. This is the first time that I’ve allowed so much to be on the team’s plate. It is overwhelming to most teenagers.
New Challenges are great. I personally love them (my gifts set is particularly fitted to new ministry opportunities). In fact, I get giddy about them. But there is a dark side, and if we’re not careful, new opportunities rob us of our ability to keep on track with existing projects. They can also take up too much of our time.
Just some thoughts. Would relish your thoughts as well.
In the Trenches,
Matt
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Get into the Personal
As we are teaching our students how to be biblical leaders, we must keep in mind that as their mentors and teachers, we need to be careful not to neglect their personal lives.
The following quote from a Tony Morgan blog has haunted me this week, and I hope it haunts you as well:
“At the end of Brian’s message today, he invited people to come forward for prayer and anointing. I was one of a number of pastors and elders who were available to pray with folks.
The experience impacted me. It reminded me that the people that walk through the doors of our church every Sunday may look okay on the outside, but many are dealing with some tough stuff on the inside. Addictions. Marriages collapsing. Kid’s heading in a wrong direction. Medical challenges. Financial crisis. Lack of purpose.”
Our students are human beings, not information repositories. We often (I often) make the mistake of filling them full of knowledge and practice and scripture and all of those wonderful things without attending to their needs.
Big Mistake.
The student who is going through a personal crisis (and we all do) is not going to be able to concentrate on how to be a leader.
The student who just had a fight with her mom is not going to be on her “A” game.
Remember that you are more than a teacher to these students. You are a pastor, a mentor, a guide. You are sometimes the person that they trust the most with spiritual matters. Don’t neglect them by treating them like robots.
Leaders are people too.
In the Trenches,
Matt
The following quote from a Tony Morgan blog has haunted me this week, and I hope it haunts you as well:
“At the end of Brian’s message today, he invited people to come forward for prayer and anointing. I was one of a number of pastors and elders who were available to pray with folks.
The experience impacted me. It reminded me that the people that walk through the doors of our church every Sunday may look okay on the outside, but many are dealing with some tough stuff on the inside. Addictions. Marriages collapsing. Kid’s heading in a wrong direction. Medical challenges. Financial crisis. Lack of purpose.”
Our students are human beings, not information repositories. We often (I often) make the mistake of filling them full of knowledge and practice and scripture and all of those wonderful things without attending to their needs.
Big Mistake.
The student who is going through a personal crisis (and we all do) is not going to be able to concentrate on how to be a leader.
The student who just had a fight with her mom is not going to be on her “A” game.
Remember that you are more than a teacher to these students. You are a pastor, a mentor, a guide. You are sometimes the person that they trust the most with spiritual matters. Don’t neglect them by treating them like robots.
Leaders are people too.
In the Trenches,
Matt
Monday, November 23, 2009
More Than Motivation
What are we offering our students?
Are we offering them a spiritual pep talk and sending them out into the world?
How’s that going?
At first, they need a refill every week, so they come back. Sooner or later, they realize that what you’re offering them doesn’t and can’t last, so they stop coming. That’s the problem with motivation. Motivation brought on by emotional pep talks is extremely satisfying in the moment, but as the experience fades, so does the motivation.
So what are you offering your students?
We have to offer something more than motivation.
We have to give our students something to stand on, so they don’t have to come to you for motivation. Jesus gives life, He gives them the Holy Spirit, and He gives them purpose. When you understand your purpose, you don’t need motivation so much. When you have the Holy Spirit, He’s there to help when you start to slow down.
Our job isn’t to give motivation. It’s to lay the foundation of Christian Leadership Principles and to help them discover their purpose. It’s to go on the journey with them and help them make sense of it, but not to motivate them. This does lead to them not needing us so much, but it’s not us they’re supposed to lean on, it’s Jesus.
When we offer our leadership students motivation, this is what we get:
1. Students are dependent on us.
2. Students lose interest quickly.
3. Students looking to external motivation, and not to the Holy Spirit’s prompting.
Knock off the self-help stuff and give them something they can use.
In the Trenches,
Matt
Are we offering them a spiritual pep talk and sending them out into the world?
How’s that going?
At first, they need a refill every week, so they come back. Sooner or later, they realize that what you’re offering them doesn’t and can’t last, so they stop coming. That’s the problem with motivation. Motivation brought on by emotional pep talks is extremely satisfying in the moment, but as the experience fades, so does the motivation.
So what are you offering your students?
We have to offer something more than motivation.
We have to give our students something to stand on, so they don’t have to come to you for motivation. Jesus gives life, He gives them the Holy Spirit, and He gives them purpose. When you understand your purpose, you don’t need motivation so much. When you have the Holy Spirit, He’s there to help when you start to slow down.
Our job isn’t to give motivation. It’s to lay the foundation of Christian Leadership Principles and to help them discover their purpose. It’s to go on the journey with them and help them make sense of it, but not to motivate them. This does lead to them not needing us so much, but it’s not us they’re supposed to lean on, it’s Jesus.
When we offer our leadership students motivation, this is what we get:
1. Students are dependent on us.
2. Students lose interest quickly.
3. Students looking to external motivation, and not to the Holy Spirit’s prompting.
Knock off the self-help stuff and give them something they can use.
In the Trenches,
Matt
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Training Opportunities
Here are five excuses I often hear about why a person couldn’t or shouldn’t take advantage of a training opportunity, and why they are full of it:
1. I don’t have time
While it is true that you may not have a lot of time, since you probably work at least 2 full time jobs (counting your ministry), and never see your spouse anyway, don’t let time become a factor in continuing education. The fact is, learning is a great way to spend your time. Remember, a day without learning something new is a wasted day.
2. I don’t have the money
This one probably rings true as well, but I guarantee you that there are ways to get money for training, and a whole lot of training that is free. Just the other day I went to a discipleship training seminar put on by Dare 2 Share. Now obviously, I had to sit through a pitch on their upcoming conference season, but the training was good (and they fed me). If you want to go to some training that actually costs money, ask the governing board of your church. Or, if you know it’s important, ask some people who support you and your work. It’s not out of the way to ask some of the people you minister to.
3. I shouldn’t take off from Work
Yes, you should. I know you have a lot of work to do, but training is renewing and many times energizing. And besides, you’re going to bring back the things that you learned and apply them in your ministry. You’re kinda working anyway.
4. That conference isn’t part of my denomination
May I say that this is the excuse that I disdain the most. I know we all like to hang around people that we agree with, but believe it or not, your denomination doesn’t have the corner on training or new ideas. It’s amazing what happens when different denominations get together to worship, learn, and train eachother. Make sure your discomfort with other trains of thought isn’t keeping you from an amazing training opportunity.
5. I can learn all that from a book
No, you can’t. While it may be true that you could get some of the same information, what you won’t get is community, other ideas, and an opportunity to synthesize those ideas with other people. I love to read, so this is my favorite, but it’s just not true. Many of us (myself included) learn well from just reading, but we give up the boost to education that other people bring to the table.
Let’s make sure that we’re taking every opportunity to make ourselves the very best we can be. Our God deserves it, our ministries deserve it, and we deserve it. Let’s also be a positive model to our leadership students to show them that they should take advantage of every opportunity they get to better themselves. It’s a lesson that will serve them, and us, a lifetime.
In the Trenches,
Matt
1. I don’t have time
While it is true that you may not have a lot of time, since you probably work at least 2 full time jobs (counting your ministry), and never see your spouse anyway, don’t let time become a factor in continuing education. The fact is, learning is a great way to spend your time. Remember, a day without learning something new is a wasted day.
2. I don’t have the money
This one probably rings true as well, but I guarantee you that there are ways to get money for training, and a whole lot of training that is free. Just the other day I went to a discipleship training seminar put on by Dare 2 Share. Now obviously, I had to sit through a pitch on their upcoming conference season, but the training was good (and they fed me). If you want to go to some training that actually costs money, ask the governing board of your church. Or, if you know it’s important, ask some people who support you and your work. It’s not out of the way to ask some of the people you minister to.
3. I shouldn’t take off from Work
Yes, you should. I know you have a lot of work to do, but training is renewing and many times energizing. And besides, you’re going to bring back the things that you learned and apply them in your ministry. You’re kinda working anyway.
4. That conference isn’t part of my denomination
May I say that this is the excuse that I disdain the most. I know we all like to hang around people that we agree with, but believe it or not, your denomination doesn’t have the corner on training or new ideas. It’s amazing what happens when different denominations get together to worship, learn, and train eachother. Make sure your discomfort with other trains of thought isn’t keeping you from an amazing training opportunity.
5. I can learn all that from a book
No, you can’t. While it may be true that you could get some of the same information, what you won’t get is community, other ideas, and an opportunity to synthesize those ideas with other people. I love to read, so this is my favorite, but it’s just not true. Many of us (myself included) learn well from just reading, but we give up the boost to education that other people bring to the table.
Let’s make sure that we’re taking every opportunity to make ourselves the very best we can be. Our God deserves it, our ministries deserve it, and we deserve it. Let’s also be a positive model to our leadership students to show them that they should take advantage of every opportunity they get to better themselves. It’s a lesson that will serve them, and us, a lifetime.
In the Trenches,
Matt
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
The Crisis Point
What is a Crisis Point, and how can we use them to develop young leaders?
For our sake, the Crisis point is anytime our students are faced with a decision whose outcome causes them to grow spiritually, or to maintain the status quo in their walk with Christ. It can be a point for change in behavior, or thinking. Our students may go through many crisis points every day. Their decision at these points has tremendous effect on their lives, their spiritual growth, and their leadership.
Many educators and counselors use Crisis Points in their education and therapy to bring a person to the point of a decision based on learning and experiences. Others, instead of facilitating the experiences, look to use them as they come up naturally in life. Whatever side of that coin you fall on, I think these points are crucial in leadership development. These practices can also be used to train leaders. Here’s what I’m thinking:
1. Crisis Points reflect a time of possible growth in our student’s lives. We should be standing with them, counseling with them, helping them out in any way we can, but we should never make the decision for them. Doing so decisively kills any chance of growth the student may have.
2. Many times, a crisis point and its decision will necessitate a drastic change in lifestyle for the decision maker. Some students won’t make the decision because of the security or safety that could be lost. As we see our students at these crossroads, help them through fears that they may have. Don’t sugarcoat the options, but help them face fear as a believer should: in faith.
3. As leadership developers, we can often create Crisis Points for growing our leaders, or giving them the opportunity to grow, with our lessons and especially our activities. Examples of this can include giving people the opportunity to lead a group for the first time, or coaching an individual who needs to make a change in their lifestyle. We have to be careful not to manipulate our students into making a decision we want them to make, but to always allow the student to make a decision and grow on their own.
Crisis Points are very important times in our lives, and they don’t stop when adolescence ends. We need to help our students identify these times as we come alongside them and help them through.
How do you use Crisis Points to help develop leadership in students?
In the Trenches,
Matt
For our sake, the Crisis point is anytime our students are faced with a decision whose outcome causes them to grow spiritually, or to maintain the status quo in their walk with Christ. It can be a point for change in behavior, or thinking. Our students may go through many crisis points every day. Their decision at these points has tremendous effect on their lives, their spiritual growth, and their leadership.
Many educators and counselors use Crisis Points in their education and therapy to bring a person to the point of a decision based on learning and experiences. Others, instead of facilitating the experiences, look to use them as they come up naturally in life. Whatever side of that coin you fall on, I think these points are crucial in leadership development. These practices can also be used to train leaders. Here’s what I’m thinking:
1. Crisis Points reflect a time of possible growth in our student’s lives. We should be standing with them, counseling with them, helping them out in any way we can, but we should never make the decision for them. Doing so decisively kills any chance of growth the student may have.
2. Many times, a crisis point and its decision will necessitate a drastic change in lifestyle for the decision maker. Some students won’t make the decision because of the security or safety that could be lost. As we see our students at these crossroads, help them through fears that they may have. Don’t sugarcoat the options, but help them face fear as a believer should: in faith.
3. As leadership developers, we can often create Crisis Points for growing our leaders, or giving them the opportunity to grow, with our lessons and especially our activities. Examples of this can include giving people the opportunity to lead a group for the first time, or coaching an individual who needs to make a change in their lifestyle. We have to be careful not to manipulate our students into making a decision we want them to make, but to always allow the student to make a decision and grow on their own.
Crisis Points are very important times in our lives, and they don’t stop when adolescence ends. We need to help our students identify these times as we come alongside them and help them through.
How do you use Crisis Points to help develop leadership in students?
In the Trenches,
Matt
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Bible Study
As we work with our students to develop their leadership skills, we should take a holistic approach. While I believe that laying a foundation of leadership principles is important in the development of every young person called to leadership, I believe just as wholeheartedly that they must lead out of their character.
Leaders lead from their character. They can’t lead if they don’t have anything to lead from. This character is developed primarily by the Word of God. It is developed by God over our lifetime through the reading of and meditation on His word.
What this means to us who develop leaders is that we can’t merely teach leadership principles when you teach your students. We have to incorporate spiritual disciplines, especially the reading and study of the Bible.
In my leadership group, we mix lessons on leadership with a Bible Study. Even if we have a lot of things going on and don’t get to the leadership lesson, we definitely get to the Bible Study. Right now we are going through the book of Revelation. We have camped out in chapters two and three studying the letters to the seven churches.
What a treasure trove of leadership lessons there are there! And that’s not beginner’s stuff, either. That’s hard-core boots-on-the-ground leadership lessons. That brings the leadership principles we are imparting face-to-face with real life scenarios in a local church setting.
By incorporating a Bible study into your leadership time, you can accomplish many things, and here is a list of the things that I think are very important:
• It gives your students a base of biblical knowledge, and encourages them to read the bible for themselves.
• Through the Bible, God builds our character, from which we lead.
• The Bible allows our students to see real leaders at work.
• The Bible gives the students historical situations with which to apply the leadership principles they are leading.
Get your students into the word. In the end, that will be more productive than just teaching them leadership principles. If you want to round them out well, teach them both.
In the Trenches,
Matt
Leaders lead from their character. They can’t lead if they don’t have anything to lead from. This character is developed primarily by the Word of God. It is developed by God over our lifetime through the reading of and meditation on His word.
What this means to us who develop leaders is that we can’t merely teach leadership principles when you teach your students. We have to incorporate spiritual disciplines, especially the reading and study of the Bible.
In my leadership group, we mix lessons on leadership with a Bible Study. Even if we have a lot of things going on and don’t get to the leadership lesson, we definitely get to the Bible Study. Right now we are going through the book of Revelation. We have camped out in chapters two and three studying the letters to the seven churches.
What a treasure trove of leadership lessons there are there! And that’s not beginner’s stuff, either. That’s hard-core boots-on-the-ground leadership lessons. That brings the leadership principles we are imparting face-to-face with real life scenarios in a local church setting.
By incorporating a Bible study into your leadership time, you can accomplish many things, and here is a list of the things that I think are very important:
• It gives your students a base of biblical knowledge, and encourages them to read the bible for themselves.
• Through the Bible, God builds our character, from which we lead.
• The Bible allows our students to see real leaders at work.
• The Bible gives the students historical situations with which to apply the leadership principles they are leading.
Get your students into the word. In the end, that will be more productive than just teaching them leadership principles. If you want to round them out well, teach them both.
In the Trenches,
Matt
How To Destroy a Leadership Team in One Easy Step
Want to destroy a leadership team in a hurry? Here’s how: Don’t get to know your students. It’s that easy. Don’t learn anything more than their names. who needs to know more than that anyway?
Okay, you do. You need to know a lot more than just their names. Your leadership development team is going to hinge on intentional relationship building. If you want your team to be cohesive, meaningful, and fruitful, you must get involved in the lives of your students.
What drives them? What scares them? What are they truly passionate about? What can’t they stand? These are all things that you want to know; and that they want to share. This isn’t a shallow relationship, this is the real thing. Know them.
I know that this is risky. It involves emotional involvement. Emotional involvement means possible (probable) hurt. It comes with the territory. Get used to it. Remember, these relationships are there to build leadership principles on, not for your emotional health.
If you want to connect, if you want to have real impact on the lives of your leadership team, cultivate real relationships with your students. Be real with them and insist they be real with you. You’ll find that as you do, your group will begin to operate as a real team. And that’s when the real learning starts.
In the Trenches,
Matt
Okay, you do. You need to know a lot more than just their names. Your leadership development team is going to hinge on intentional relationship building. If you want your team to be cohesive, meaningful, and fruitful, you must get involved in the lives of your students.
What drives them? What scares them? What are they truly passionate about? What can’t they stand? These are all things that you want to know; and that they want to share. This isn’t a shallow relationship, this is the real thing. Know them.
I know that this is risky. It involves emotional involvement. Emotional involvement means possible (probable) hurt. It comes with the territory. Get used to it. Remember, these relationships are there to build leadership principles on, not for your emotional health.
If you want to connect, if you want to have real impact on the lives of your leadership team, cultivate real relationships with your students. Be real with them and insist they be real with you. You’ll find that as you do, your group will begin to operate as a real team. And that’s when the real learning starts.
In the Trenches,
Matt
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