100th and final blog(for this site)

Yep, that's right.  It's my 100th blog entry.  It's also the last one for this site.

It turns out that I'm blogging across too many sites.  It's time to condense.

So, starting today, I'm no longer going to be blogging on the blogger.com site.  I will be blogging at posterous.com and mainly on Next in Line's new website.

You can link here.  

I think you'll like it.  You can still subscribe to it via the RSS feed, and it will still feature the same content. It just needs to be condensed with our other content.

I appreciate your readership through these first 100 posts, and I hope that you'll continue to follow this blog as it makes the switch-over to it's permanent home.

What Every Church Should Know About Student Leadership Development Pt. 6

It’s Totally Worth It

Okay, for the past week I’ve been looking at some of the things I wish I had known about leadership development before I dove in head-first.  Some of those things have been a little scary, and you may have even been put off by a few of them.  My goal hasn’t been to scare you off, but to interject a little reality into the mix here.  

Leadership development isn’t easy with any age, let alone youth.  It’s difficult and it takes time.  There will be days when you want to throw it in because your students have destroyed your will to keep going.  It will stretch your leadership to it’s limits.  But here’s the kicker, and it’s a good one.

It’s totally worth it.  I knew this going in, but I think everyone needs to hear it.  There is no feeling like watching young students develop leadership skills and begin leading in their lives, jobs, schools, and the church.  

Entrusted to us is the future.  God is raising up young people everyday to lead His people in this generation and the next, and this same God has invited us to help Him do it.  What an amazing privilege.  What a humbling stewardship.

We may be tired, overworked, and ready to pull our hair out at times, but at others we are humbled by God’s work in our students to the point where we just fall to our knees and worship Him.  As we watch them take what God has been teaching them and apply it, we are overwhelmingly proud of our students as if we were their parents.  

Through the headache and the heartache there is pride, satisfaction, and moments where you feel so close to God that the hair on the back of your neck will stick up.  

There’s no job anywhere like working with young leaders.  Nothing more challenging, and nothing more rewarding.  It’s totally worth it.

What Every Church Should Know About Student Leadership Development Pt. 5

It Will Stretch Your Leadership

When I was in school preparing to become a teacher, it was told to me that I would learn what I was teaching better by preparing to teach it.  Sure enough, those teachers were right.  As I studied for lessons and prepared to teach, I came to a better understanding of what I was teaching.  

I’ve also been told, in my very short career as a minister, that if you don’t first preach a message to yourself, allowing it to change you, then it is very hard to preach to and ask for change in others.

It should come as no surprise that teaching leadership is the same way.  Teaching leadership will stretch your leadership in two ways.  By teaching leadership principles you’ll gain a deeper and more abiding knowledge of what it means to be a Christian leader.  Also, you’ll be leading a group of people, gaining the benefit of the experience that leadership brings with it.  

You’ll be a living example to your students for what you’re teaching.  You’ll be gaining and exerting influence, modeling the leadership principles of Christ, and showing your young people through your actions what it means to be a leader.

Bottom line is this:  As your students are learning, so are you.  As your students become better leaders, so will you.  Teaching leadership stretches your own.  

What Every Church Should Know About Student Leadership Development Pt. 4

It Will Test Your Faith in Your Students

Going in to a leadership development program, I had certain expectations of my students.  Because they had  volunteered for leadership training, I figured that they would be mature, respectful, Christ-Centered students.  

I couldn’t have been more wrong.  Without going into details, I have to say that I spent a lot of time ranging between disappointed and horrified as I dealt with issue after issue with my students.  It really rocked my boat.  Before I knew it, my faith in my students was waning.  

Because leadership development demands that we be closer to and spend more time with our students, we tend to get more enmeshed in their lives.  They also get more enmeshed in our lives.  As this happens, we learn all about our students in a way that we haven’t before.  As everyone’s warts appear, we can get rather disenchanted with our students if we’re not careful (they can get disenchanted with us, too).  

I think our expectations are at the heart of the issue here.  We must expect students to be mature, respectful, and Christ-Centered, just as we would expect any other believer to act in this way.  However, we must also remember that just as we screw up, so will our students.  Sometimes, they’ll screw up real bad.

When things get dicey (and they inevitably will), our reaction determines whether a failure will turn into a lesson or into a situation that may alienate your students and keep them at arm’s length.  I’ve seen how one screw-up alienated a student so much that he quit the leadership team and fell away from the church.  Sure, He could have handled the situation differently, but I could have as well.  If we allow ourselves to become disillusioned with our students after a failure, it’s more likely we’ll lose faith in the entire process.  Our groups start to hurt, and then it disappears.  

Just as we expect our students to act a certain way, we must also expect that they will mess up.  We mess up, and we shouldn’t expect anything more from our students.  Practicing mercy and grace is not only the right thing to do in these situations, but teaches a powerful lesson that your students will hopefully pass on in their time.  

Preparing ourselves now is essential.  If someone had told me before I started that I would have periods of tremendous disappointment with my students, I would have looked at them like they had a third eye.  Now I know better.  I’ve been there.  

Best practice?  Before you start a team, or even if you have a team now, have a policy about how you’ll deal with moral and legal problems with your students.  How will you react?  What will their status on the leadership team be?  What process will be used for restoration?  How will you deal with the rest of the students on the team?  

And most of all, prepare your heart.  Ask Christ to give you a spirit of forgiveness and mercy.  Ask Him to make His grace real to you in a way that you can make it real to other people.  Humble yourself by daily reminding yourself that you too, sin and need forgiveness. That way, when the inevitable happens, you’ll know what to do and in what spirit to do it.

What Every Church Should Know About Student Leadership Development Pt. 3

It Takes Time

There are no shortcuts when it comes to developing leadership in young people.  In many business leadership development programs, development revolves around very company-specific competencies.  It’s easier to set a time frame on specific competencies, but less easy to set a time frame on the teaching of leadership principles, on discipleship, and on mentoring.

Because many churches don’t have the time or budget for a leadership development program, they tend to leave leadership development to retreats and conferences.  If your development program takes place in a weekend retreat, or a conference (no matter how good it is) then you’ll probably be disappointed with the development that’s taking place.  Don’t get me wrong, conferences are great places to develop leadership, and I love a weekend retreat to develop leaders.  However, leadership development is more organic; it doesn’t take place over the course of just a few hours.  It takes a lifetime.   We have to resist the temptation to allow retreats and conferences to constitute our entire leadership development program.  It’s easier in the short run, of course, and faster; but in the long run very little leadership development will take place.   

A leadership development program takes constant, intentional, targeted work; and that takes time.  Because we are working with individuals with different personalities who are in different places, we can’t put a time frame on their development.  Some of your students are going to soak this stuff up quickly.  With others it will be longer sinking in.  Either way, you’re going to spend a lot of time developing leadership.  

Please don’t believe that leadership development is a quick process, or fall prey to the summer intern line of thought.  Leadership development is a lifelong journey for every leader.  Young leaders are no different, except they are just starting their journeys, looking to you to spend as much time on their leadership development as you did on yours.

What Every Church Should Know About Student Leadership Development Pt. 2

It’s Hard

If you looked at some of the available literature on youth leadership development in churches (which usually consists of one chapter in a book) then you might get the impression that developing young leaders is easy.  

In fact, it reads almost like a recipe.  Pick these students, teach them these things,  and do these activities.  Next, shake them up, pour them out, and you’ll get student leaders.  Problem is that life isn’t that tidy, and neither is a youth ministry program.

One of the things I wish I had been told up front is that leadership development isn’t easy. It isn't easy to start, and it only gets more difficult as you go along.

There are no magic recipes to make your leadership development program work.  There are no super-lessons that will instantly turn apathetic youth into leaders.  There are no guarantees that the students you pour so much into will go on to become great Christian leaders.  

Like all other aspects of ministry, leadership development takes a lot of time and effort.  We shouldn’t go into it thinking that it will be a walk in the park or an afterthought to the rest of the youth ministry.  Done right, leadership development takes just as much effort and preparation as the rest of the youth ministry.  It takes constant tweaking, sleepless nights in prayer, planning, and research.  Oh yeah, and did I mention that you’ll be pouring tons of time into these students?

If you are going to start a leadership development team, keep these things in mind.  Way too many leadership teams are started and then quickly thrown away when it’s discovered that they take more than 10 minutes of prep time.

Don’t fall into this trap; your students deserve better than that.  Go in knowing that leadership development takes time, effort, and plenty of both.  This isn’t about being negative, it’s about going in with your eyes open. 

Student Leaders Grow Into Adult Leaders

No matter what church I visit, or what church leader I talk to, they will all tell me the same thing:  We need more leadership.  Whether it’s to run new ministries or to take over old ones as existing leaders move, burn out, or pass on, the church is constantly in need of new leadership.  

Where do these leaders come from?  Do they magically appear out of thin air?  Of course not.  New leaders are the product of God’s gifting and development.  Many churches are joining God in this process and have set up leadership development programs to help these emerging leaders grow and learn.

One place that we’re not always looking however, is in the ranks of our youth programs.  The fact is, when we don’t develop leadership within our youth we are missing out on the leadership of many young people that God has gifted and called.   I know that many church leaders are careful not to put too young a person into leadership positions, but the truth of the matter is that student leaders grow into adult leaders.  Before you know it your students are out of school and out of the youth group; ready and willing to lead.  

We need to develop the leadership of young people just as we need to develop other leaders in our church.  Youth may seem too young, too immature, or unwilling, but if we don’t start developing youth leaders, we are missing a great opportunity to invest in the future of our young people, and in the future of our churches.

3 Common Buy-In Problems Leadership Programs Face

Leadership Programs fail for many reasons, but one of the main reasons is buy-in.  Here are three buy-in problems that spell certain doom for most leadership development programs.

Student Buy-In

Obviously, if the students you are serving don’t buy in to a leadership development program, there isn’t going to be much of a program.  Having committed students is at the heart of what you’re doing.  Usually, the lack of student buy-in is because of a lack of depth in other programs or a problem with the pitching of your vision.  And sometimes, they just don’t respect you.

Parent Buy-In

I know that a lot of time those who deal with youth consider parents to be their enemies.  Truth is, they should be your best friends.  Because you are only speaking into a student’s life for a short interval each week, parents’ role in leadership development cannot be overlooked.  Just like in youth ministry, parent involvement is key.

If the parents of your emerging leaders aren’t buying into a leadership development program, your program will suffer, if it survives at all.  Make sure that you are talking to parents constantly, and including them in the process.  Give them training, materials, and opportunity to help develop leadership in their own children.  

Administration Buy-In

Here’s a real killer.  Whether you’re in a school, a church, or civic organization, if the guys who run the show aren’t buying into a leadership program, don’t expect to make a lot of headway.  Studies are showing that if the lead person or persons of an organization don’t participate in a leadership development program, that program doesn’t run as well or long as it should.  

Lack of administration buy-in will affect things like budget, space, time, and participation.  Pitch your vision for leadership development early and often to the people in charge, and move forward cautiously if those in charge aren’t completely on board.

Don’t be blind.  Buy-in problems are real, and they sink leadership programs everyday.  Don’t ever assume that everyone is on board with your program.  Pitching your vision, both to individuals and groups, is essential both before you start and while your program is operating.  Involve other people; don’t run your program like its Area 51.  Buy-in is essential to your program’s survival, and if you don’t pay attention to it your program will not-so-slowly fall into trouble.  

A Difficult Vision

It’s great to have a vision about how the world can be, but it’s not always easy to share that vision.  It can be scary, difficult to get across, and many times people just laugh at you or wonder what planet you’re really from.  Some people are taught very early that sharing their vision earns them ridicule, scorn, and shame.  They learn to keep their vision to themselves, and deprive the world of potentially great ideas.

I learned all of this the hard way when I started to share the idea of Next in Line with other people.  The idea of involving young people in leadership training had people looking at me like I had a third eye.  After a couple months of that, I wasn’t sure whether or not I wanted to do anything with Next in Line.

I say all of this because I know that many of you have the vision to start leadership groups in your organization but may not be getting any traction.  I talk to people all the time who have tried leadership development in their churches and schools but couldn’t get any support and ultimately ended up quitting or never getting off the ground in the first place.

To those of you who are dreamers and visionaries I say don’t give up.  The world needs young leaders now more than ever.  Now, like never before, the call to raise up young leaders needs to be answered.  

I know it can be discouraging sometimes; I’ve been there.  But I’ve also seen young people rising up to their potential.  I’ve seen young people do amazing things and take the reigns of leadership before anyone thought it was possible.

As we talk about pitching the idea of leadership development programs, don’t get discouraged if you’re having trouble getting your idea off of the ground, and don’t let others dictate to you what God has put on your heart.  Don’t let past obstacles dictate the route you take in the future.  Keep praying, keep planning, and prepare the ground.  What God has ordained you to do, He will bring to pass!

Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,

Matt

Four Questions To Ask Yourself Before the Pitch

Before you ask someone else to take on the responsibility of a leadership development team, there’s a couple of questions that you should probably have answered yourself already.  

We’ve talked about the need for planning and preparation, and here are a few questions that will help you prepare before you pitch:  

Who:  Develop An Identity

Who is the organization that you are pitching the idea to?  Are they a local school?  Is it a church?  Who the organization is and what they do will determine how you approach them about leadership development.  Do you belong to this organization?  Do you have any existing relationship with this group?  Are they a fit for a leadership development team?  You probably wouldn’t pitch a leadership development team to a local book club, but you wouldn’t hesitate to make sure your school district has a leadership development program in place.  

Why:  Develop A Reason

Why would the organization that you are pitching to want to start a leadership development team?  Is there something about the organizations purpose or mission that points to developing young leaders?  Are they equipped to carry out the team or program?  An organization is going to want to know why they would do what you’re asking them to do.  Make sure you have an answer for them.  

Answering this question might require some research.  Do it.  It’s time well spent if it answers questions before they are asked.

How:  Develop a Way

How can this particular organization be a catalyst for leadership development?  This may seem a lot like the why question, but it is different.  With why we gave them a reason, now we’re giving them a way.  Know the organization that you’re pitching to so well that you maneuver their resources and talents around like a conductor before her orchestra.  They know these resources exist within their organization, they may just not know how to use them to develop leaders.  You do.  You asked: How?  Know how they could specifically pull off a leadership development team, and be ready to show them when you meet.

What:  Develop a Vision

Finally, ask: what benefit can a leadership development team bring to this organization?  What benefit can it bring to their community?  What will be the end result of a leadership development team at this place and at this time.  This question develops a vision for you and for the organization that you’re pitching to.  It helps you see (and them, subsequently) what it is you’re working towards.  This is very important.  Without vision, this idea won’t last long.  This last question will become very important as this process continues.

If you’re about to pitch the idea of a leadership development team to someone, I hope you’ve already asked yourself these questions.  If you haven’t, take some time and mull them over.  When it comes to pitch time, you’ll be glad you did.

Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,

Matt 

The Long View

Instant Gratification is the order of the day,

but when it comes to developing tomorrow’s leaders, we aren’t going to get any instant gratification.  We aren’t going to see amazing results in hours.  We aren’t even going to see amazing results in days.  We have these young people for 4-6 years in our youth groups, and it will probably take every bit of that time to see results.  This isn’t like a paid advertisement where our gizmo does everything in ten seconds or less.

Experts tell us that Leadership is a lifelong journey. 

so why is it that we think a weekend retreat or a one-week conference is going to develop our young leaders?  Do we really believe that?  Why do we develop non-programs to teach young leaders and believe that we have done them a favor?  Is it us?  Are we seeing things wrong?     

Leadership Development is a lot of work.

I’m not going to deny it, I’m going to embrace it.  Does it mean another item on my plate?  Yeah, it does, but it’s an important item.  I believe very strongly that giving our students the opportunity to lead and to learn leadership is one of the most important things we can do for our young people.  

I’m Adopting a Long View

I’m spending my time putting together materials that will help you develop students over the long haul.  I’m not concerned with force-feeding them a leadership course in a weekend, I’m concerned with how these young people will fare over a lifetime of leading.  It’s a long haul, but so is leadership.  If leadership is a lifelong journey, let’s not short-change our students as we prepare them.  Let’s model the long view.  They’ll be in it for the long haul, and we should be, too.

Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,

Matt

Organic Leadership Development

How does the Holy Spirit change the face of leadership development? 

The last time I wrote I talked about how the Holy Spirit is a differentiating factor between Christian and non-Christian leaders.  What I didn't write about is what that means for developing leaders, and it means a lot.

First, the Holy Spirit changes everything.  Leadership development is no longer a regimen or just a curriculum, but an organic process that we are not in charge of.  This is significantly different than most programs of education.  Christian leadership isn't something you can just get a degree in and be good.  The development of Christian leaders takes considerably more time, patience, and discernment.


Since the Spirit is in control, the time it takes to cultivate a Christian leader cannot be set in stone.  I recently read an article by the creator of Relevant Magazine where he stated that God had to teach him over 8 years before he could finally start his magazine.  It might take others a lot less than eight years to become the kind of leader God wants to carry out His purpose in their life, and it might take longer.  Again, we can't relegate the process; thinking that after we review these principles and such and such a program that the people we are teaching will automatically be the leaders God wants them to be.  How long did Moses wonder in the wilderness before God called him to lead the Israelites out of bondage? 

Because we aren't in charge of the time it takes to become a leader, we have to be very patient.  So do the young leaders in our care.   Can you imagine David, after being proclaimed King, waiting to actually become King?  That must have been grueling, but God had much to teach David before he became king.

Lastly (please, however, don't think that this is exhaustive), I think that the organic nature of Christian Leadership Development takes a lot of discernment.  Not all of your students are going to be at the same place, and each will learn and develop at their own pace.  It will take a lot of discernment to know what to teach and when.  This will take a lot of prayer and a deep knowledge of each of your students.  Take the time to see this through.  Be responsible to them and to God for their development.  It's not easy, but we didn't get into this because it was easy.

Christian leadership development is difficult, and the organic nature of it makes it that much more difficult.  But with patience, endurance, and perseverance, we will be blessed to see the godly leadership of tomorrow.

Training Tomorrow's Leaders Today,
Matt

What Distinguishes a Christian Leader?

What makes a Christian leader a Christian leader?  Is it a style?  Is it training?  Is it the kind of organization that the leader is running?  What should be the criterion by which we designate a leader to be "Christian?"

With hundreds of books on leadership hitting the shelf each year and just as many different methods of leadership, it's easy to get caught up in method when determining what makes a Christian leader.  Christ has a very distinctive method of leadership, one that is based in service and in power revealed through weakness.  However, even the "secular" world has co-opted these leadership methods and uses them with much success in the corporate, government, and not for profit realms.

Neither can we determine a Christian leader by the kind of organization that the Christian is heading.  There are Christian men and women in all realms of society, leading all sorts of ventures.  Likewise, I fear that there are many non-Christian people who are leaders in Christian organizations. 

Likewise, Christian and other leadership training is available to all people, regardless of their faith.  A good leader will peruse leadership material from all sources and incorporate that which works for them and for their organization.  The Christian leader will consider non-Christian sources of leadership, determine whether they are of God or not, and use them accordingly.

What then, distinguishes a Christian leader?  It is as simple as this:  The Holy Spirit.  The Christian leader is indeed a Christian, and therefore is guided, chastised by, and strengthened by the Holy Spirit.  This difference between a Christian leader and a non-Christian leader cannot be overemphasized.

God does not hold a specific training regimen for leaders, nor does He work the same in all leaders.  He calls, trains, and uses different leaders in different ways.  God's spirit which indwells us is manifested so many different ways.  The Holy Spirit gives Christian leadership a mysterious edge that you can never quite predict and a quality that makes it incomparable with regular leadership. 

This makes even the most unlikely person a leadership candidate, and makes normal models of leadership training and development irrelevant.  It means that instead of solely paying attention to a book or program of leadership development, Christian leaders must also discern the calling of the Holy Spirit on the lives of leaders and be open to His leading and prompting, no matter how much this leads us outside the realms of "normal" leadership or our zones of comfort and familiarity.

And while it is important to see and understand the Holy Spirit's place in Christian Leadership, let's not forget that the Holy Spirit also plays unknowable and mysterious roles in non-Christian leadership too.  The Holy Spirit factor in leadership and leadership development should not be overlooked, and those Christian leaders who do run the risk of being outside of the will of God and leading without the sustaining power of the Holy Spirit.

Training Tomorrow's Leaders Today,
Matt

Explosions of Worship

This morning at Desperation Church, our worship pastor talked about the Spirit of God filling us to such an extent that we just exploded in worship to our God and King.  I had never heard this analogy before, and like so many other things, this got me to thinking about leadership.
My worship pastor talked about glorifying God in explosions of worship.  He prayed that there would be explosions of worship all over the world.  It was simple and beautiful, yet so poignant that I have been thinking about it all day.

So I began to think to myself:  "What is it that we want to see out of the next generation of leadership?" 
The answer?  I want to see explosions of worship in leadership positions all over society.

It's true that if we explode in worship people will see and be drawn to God.  It's also true that if we have godly leaders living lives of worship in positions of leadership throughout society, people will see and be drawn to God.

This is what God wants.  This is what I want.  It's why Next in Line Ministries exists.  It's why we do what we do.  It's why I write this blog, and why the board of  Next in Line works their tails off to help raise new leaders.  We believe that Christian leadership througout society witnesses of Christ, honors God with just and true decisions, and changes society at it's core by leading like Christ.

Just as our worship pastor prayed today, I also pray tonight:  Father, raise up a generation of leaders that live for you.  Fill them with Your spirit that they may burst in explosions of worship to You.  May their every action, their every word, and their every interaction be fueled and guided by love for You and others.  May they be a light in the darkness, a constant witness for You, and a guide to those who need it.  In Christ's Name, amen.

Training Tomorrow's Leaders Today,
Matt

The Hardest Lessons

It's been a while since I blogged, and I feel I owe you some explanation.  The last few months have been one of transition for me, and have been extremely difficult.  There have been a lot of changes in my life, and a lot of difficult decisions that I've had to make.  Through it all though, I've learned some incredible leadership lessons, and am looking forward to finally getting back on track with blogging and Next in Line in general.
These last couple of months have shown me that the hardest things that a leader will face can't be completely prepared for.  As teachers, we can academically prepare our students for a lot of things, but our students will have to experience them to understand and learn from these experiences. 
Academically, we can teach our students how to make hard decisions; but they will never know the stress and pain that making them entails.  We can academically teach our students how to confront someone, even one of their closest friends, but we can't teach them how difficult it really is, or how much anguish there can be in confrontation. 
Only experience can teach these things, and they are lessons that will stick with them for the rest of their lives.  The hardest lessons learned are those that will be strongest in their minds throughout their lives.
Does this mean we shouldn't try to academically prepare them?  No, of course it doesn't.  By training students in the proper way to handle a situation such as confrontation or decision making, we can help them push through the emotional aspect and make the right decision, or confront in a loving and productive way.  We can and must continue to teach our students to do things correctly and in a Christ-honoring manner; however we can't expect them to fully understand some of these situations until they have gone through them themselves. 
Along with academically preparing them, we also have to let them get real experience in the leadership world.  By allowing our students to "get their hands dirty" we allow them to have some of these hard experiences early, where we can come alongside of them and help them through.  The earlier these hard lessons are learned, the more prepared our students will be for where God will put them in life.
Keep carrying on, and remember that the hardest lessons learned will also be some of the most important lessons learned.

Training Tomorrow's Leaders Today,
Matt

Mediocre

Is your ministry mediocre? Is your leadership development program so-so?


Remember this axiom: You can do nothing badly, and still do nothing well.

With the demands on our time; with the constant juggling between work, family, and recreation, I think we often find ourselves doing only what we have to in order to get by.

While there is nothing necessarily sinful in this, I think we can honestly agree that God has called us to be the best we can be at what He has called us to do. Mediocrity doesn’t cut it.

As we teach our leadership students, one of the things we need to impart is to do the best job they can in any given situation. If we work as unto the Lord, and God demands our best, than mediocrity cannot be tolerated.

This is a hard lesson to learn, and all sorts of other lessons can be tied up into it; such as time management, planning, work ethic, and stewardship. In the end, many times it comes down to how you model work in your own ministry. Your students, especially your leadership students, are going to pick up very quickly on your work habits.

Strive to be the best at what you do, and many times your students will follow you in that practice. Overburden yourself and start to dip into mediocrity, and you can also be assured that your students will see that as well.

Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,

Matt

What Others Say

Usually I think we’d say that we shouldn’t listen to what others say about us; “sticks and stones,” and all that tosh.


However, as we are raising up young leaders, sometimes it’s good to get out of your church box and bend an ear towards the community. You should know by know that many of our students put on their best when they are with us. Sometimes it’s hard to tell what progress is being made and what problems need to be addressed if you’re basing your analysis solely on how your students act when they are with you.

Listening to what others are saying about the leaders you are developing can be a humbling experience. It can be hard. You may hear some things that you don’t want to hear. You may also hear some things that cause you to praise God and rejoice.

The problem is, if you’re not listening you don’t know.

How long has it been since you had a chat with your student’s parents? What are they saying about your student? Are there problems? Are there victories? What areas do the parents see that needs work, especially when it comes to character?

Talk to teachers. School is a harsh place, and teachers have a unique insight that neither you nor their parents have. Ask the teachers about leadership qualities being displayed at school. Ask them about character issues and homework issues. Remember that many of the good work habits your students will form will take root (or won’t) in High School.

Talking to these other influences on your students has a great advantage: it draws other parties into the leadership development of the student. The parents (which I hope are already engaged) will be on the lookout for specific leadership and character markers, so will teachers.

Use all of this information as you coach your students. We are called to lead an integrated life, and our students will need help in doing that. We do them a disservice when we base their growth strictly on what we see. If we are truly committed to seeing these young people grow into Christian leaders, we’ll get other people’s input.

Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,

Matt

You're Wrong!

Yes, you are, and so am I. We’re wrong a lot, and if we’ll be honest with ourselves, we’re wrong more than we like to admit.


That is between you and God, but when you are working with youth and raising young leaders, you have other obligations as well.

The more you work with and around youth (or other people for that matter) the more often you’ll do or say something stupid around them. It’s not an “if” situation, but a “when.”

The question is, what do you do when you do screw up?

Let me give you an example from my own life. I recently took our leadership team to a local leadership conference. On the way home, I made a snarky comment about one of the hosts, who had been extremely rude to us.

The kids thought my comment was hilarious, but I immediately knew I was wrong for having said it, and that it had come out of my pride and hurt.

What to do?

On the next Sunday, during our weekly meeting, I apologized. They still thought it was funny, so I told them exactly why what I had said was wrong, why my pride was sinful, and how I am responsible for only my own actions, and not the actions of anyone else. I then asked their forgiveness.

By the time I was done, they knew it wasn’t funny anymore, and they learned a hard lesson about themselves, their reactions, and their leader.

When we screw up in front of our students, it is imperative that we explain to them what we did wrong, apologize, and ask their forgiveness. Not only is it the right thing to do, but it also provides a model for them to follow.

I could just have easily not said anything, let them think I was snarky and funny, and let everything go. This would have been easier for me, and not near as humiliating, but would have given those students who heard it the idea that comments like that are okay.

How often do you admit to your students that you are wrong? How do you handle those situations?

Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,

Matt

Embrace the Messy

How much control do you try to exert over your leadership development team?


I’m not talking about a kind of iron fist control that you’d find in a totalitarian government, I’m talking about how deeply planned you’re meetings are, how much we try to influence outcomes, and how hard we try to steer our lessons in a certain direction.

While each team is different, I have been finding lately that the more control I try to exert over activities of the leadership team, the less the team thrives. Most students need structure, and even welcome it, so why does more control equal less outcome?

I think it has to do with the very nature of leadership and leadership development. While some structure is necessary, the more structure we put into the system, the more it chokes the life out of our young leaders. Our students aren’t normal (whatever normal is), and being leaders, they don’t always operate under the same norms that we’d expect all students to. The more I work with young leaders, the more exceptions I find to developmental theory as explained in my many college classes on the subject.

Leadership development is messy. It happens in real time, and no lesson plan, no matter how good and how detailed, can take into account every student and their personality. No activity, no matter how well planned and what outcome it’s supposed to achieve, can fully take into account every student on your team.

What I’m trying to say is this: plan for the unexpected. Plan to get off-plan. Your lesson or conversation or activity may take your team in a direction that is totally unexpected, and may even seem like a waste to you. Don’t judge it too quickly. Don’t shut it down too quickly. Real growth can happen where you least expect it.

Control is comfortable, control is planned, and control is, well, controlled. Leadership development is messy. Embrace it.

Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,

Matt

Value in Struggle

Life is hard.


Even so, I bet the best “ah-ha” moments in your life have come through struggle. While we do gain much by learning principles in the spotless laboratory of the classroom, it can’t teach us the most important lessons. Life teaches those, and it’s not always a nice teacher.

When we work with youth, and as we develop young leaders, our relationship with them will often lead us to want to keep them from struggle in life.

Don’t.

There is great value in struggle. In many ways it’s so easy to supply the right answers, or give them the best choice to make, or to help them in the moment that they start to founder in the face of a monumental task.

Don’t.

As mean as it sounds, I can’t think of a worse thing to do. The lessons and clarity that come from struggle will endure long after your boring lectures and teaching have faded from their memory.

Instead, when push comes to shove, come along side of them. Encourage them. Pray with them. Let them know you’re there for them. But let them face the struggle, beat it or succumb to it, and then learn from it.

This can be as easy as letting there be some silent moments after you ask an important question, or not giving them the answer on that history homework. It might be something more involved, too, like not bailing them out when they don’t prepare for a lesson.

Now, don’t take this too far. I’m not talking about putting them in imminent danger. But don’t baby them, either. They’re learning; let them.

Not only will they learn more when you let them struggle, but in the long run, as they look back on their life and reflect on their most poignant lessons, they will thank you for not stepping in and giving them a safe way out.

Training Tomorrow’s Leaders Today,

Matt