Sometimes You Just Need to Keep Your Mouth Shut

It's not easy for me, but the art of keeping your mouth shut is just as important as knowing how and when to speak.  A lot of leadership literature today hinges on communication, and I don't mean to denigrate communication, but sometimes it's better just to keep your mouth shut.

A lot of leaders feel they need to add something to every conversation.  Please kick this impulse in the teeth.  There are many times that people just want you to listen.  There are many times that you need to just listen. 

Learn before you speak. 

Though you may have something to add to the conversation, always having something to add to the conversation will get you a reputation that you don't want.

Equally important to a leader as speaking is listening.  Communication without understanding doesn't happen.  That's miscommunication; and if we feel the need to talk more than we listen, miscommunication is exactly what we're going to have.

As leaders, we are expected to be charismatic, witty, charming folks that liven up all conversation with our intellect, wisdom, and anecdotes.  We can do those things to.  There is a time and a place for that.  More than that, though, is the need to understand before being understood.  If we truly serve the people we lead, our job is to listen to them more than we talk at them. 

In all honesty the more we listen and understand other people, the more poignant and guided can our words be.  Hastily speaking we miss important aspects of a situation, or have a less than full understanding of a person.  A leader can't afford misunderstanding; sometimes there's only one opportunity to lead correctly and wisely.  

I'm not suggesting a prohibition on talking, but I am suggesting that we not only learn to listen better, but find ways to teach our leadership students to listen more carefully and thoroughly.  Doing so will be a long haul, because listening to others without interjecting our own opinion and beliefs is not an art that is being taught by today's culture. 

Your overtures into this disicipline are going to need to be planned, intentional, and plentiful. We are constantly encouraged to give our view on something, no matter how little of it we know, and so as teachers we will have to be contantly vigilant to expunge that tendency in our students as much as we can. 

Remember, a servant listens, and then acts.  It is a tyrant that dominates a conversation or a debate without understanding the situation or the person.

Learn to listen.  Listen.  Model listening.  Raise listeners.

Training Tomorrow's Leaders Today,
Matt